Dogzilla; or, Kevin the Big Yellow Dog

by Bob "Anthrocoon" Nelson (shrinkingman)

Based on the web comic "Newshounds" by Thomas K. Dye

KPET was not your typical TV station. Like many stations, it had a newscast, but its news staff was made up entirely of...pets. Maybe some TV stations had staffers who fought like cats and dogs, but only KPET had employees who WERE cats and dogs!

The staffers were hired by Lorna Dilbrook (a human). The anchor team was Wolfram Blitzen and Renata Fayre-- he a vain, sharply dressed, smooth talker, and she an ambitious, energetic journalist. Sam Shepherd did the sports-- he was the type of sports fan you'd see cheering on his team at a bar (only most sports fans do not have a tail or a cold nose), and another dog, named Kevin, was the cameraman-- er, -dog. The feline presence on the air was that of alleged weathercat Alistair Katt, an intellectual liberal.

They were all adopted from a pet shelter by Lorna, but one additional staffer was not adopted-- he was a rat named Ferris, who was just hanging around the studios. Lorna figured he could help out as janitor and lackey. Usually he just watched TV and acted loony.

Kevin J. Dog was not the vain showbiz type, like Alistair, Renata, or Wolfram. He was just a working class dog who just did his job and tried not to let the fursonalities of the other employees get to him.

Lorna had started the station after she inherited some money. It didn't cost all that much to run the newscast. Let's just say that the salaries paid to the cats and dogs were not quite what Peter Jennings, Connie Chung, Chris Berman, or Willard Scott would make. Lorna could have saved even more money by getting one of those robotic cameras some stations have, but that would put Kevin out of work, and...well, he wasn't exactly qualified to do much else. He just did his job and didn't complain much.

One day, Kevin and Alistair were sent to the Sunflower Chemical Company, which was run by a dog named Hal O'Peridol. Well, THAT was a secret (he inherited it from his master) but KPET's Renata Fayre knew (because Hal had a major crush on her!). Hal asked KPET to send a camera crew over so a spokesperson for the company could talk about some new deodorant they were developing. When Kevin and Alistair showed up, he was disappointed. He thought Renata would be doing the report, but she was back at the studios.

"We have with us Mr. Perry Oxide from Sunflower Chemicals," Alistair started. "Mr. Oxide, we understand you are developing a new deodorant which will provide underarm protection for an entire week with one application."

"Yes, Mr. Katt, we are. It should be ready for---"

"And I notice your prototype here is in spray form. Don't you know what this stuff does to the ozone layer? Talk about the greenhouse effect!"

"Well, er...I don't know if it really does contribute to global warming, Mr. Katt. And if it does, well, maybe that's a good thing...I have a brother in Boston who said they're having a very mild winter up there and he's barely had to shovel any snow..."

Alistair narrowed his eyes and his tail started curling menacingly, as if he were about to attack. "Global warming will melt the polar ice caps, Mr. Oxide, and if that happens..."

"Cut!," yelled Kevin, shutting off his camera. "Alistair, why are you doing this? We're supposed to ask the man about his new deodorant..."


A few minutes later the shoot was over and Hal O'Peridol went over to Kevin to thank him for calming down Alistair. "Mr. Dog, you really made a difference. And I think I know how I can repay you for that..."

"Really?"

"Yes, er...Kevin. I'm developing a new growth hormone and I need someone to test it. How tall are you, by the way?"

"Oh, about 4 foot 4, maybe?" Kevin was slightly shorter than most dogs but he towered over the 3 foot 6 inch Hal.

"We can boost you up to 5 feet, maybe even more. We can try it on you and then maybe see if it will work on people as well."

Alistair yelled over to Kevin, saying it was time to leave. Kevin quickly told Hal, "Yeah, maybe I'll just try it..." Hal went into his office and brought a bottle with a few pills out to Kevin.

As they headed back to KPET, Kevin wondered why the diminuitive Hal didn't just try this growth formula out on himself. Maybe he didn't mind being short.

"Let's stop for a sub sandwich," suggested Kevin as he drove the KPET newsvan. So they did.

At a sandwich shop, Alistair spotted a burly man about to eat a sub sandwich. He was talking to someone next to him at the counter-- "Yeah, it's really good that Bush did get in. He's done wonders with the war effort."

Alistair shook his head and sighed. "So he isn't doing bad for a president who was 'selected', not elected...," Alistair chimed in.

The man turned his head and stared at the cat. "Well, then it's good that he was 'selected'!" He spotted a peace button on Alistair's vest. "You one of them commies who were protesting the war, eh?"

"Commie! I, sir, am a liberal."

"Well, a liberal is a socialist and a socialist is a communist, that's how I see it!"

Alistair was about to say something pithy but he suddenly spotted what the man was eating: a tunafish sub. Alistair just couldn't resist...

"Mmm, that looks good...And they put so much into the sub!," said Alistair, suddenly changing his tone of voice. "May I...?"

The man grabbed some of the tuna and gave it to Alistair. He chuckled. "Call me a compassionate conservative, I guess! Enjoy it, kitty!"

Kevin just rolled his eyes and ordered a small sandwich.


Back at KPET, Lorna asked how the interview went.
"Not bad, once I got him off his environmental soapbox!," said Kevin, pointing at Alistair. He put a box of the new deodorant on top of Lorna's desk. "They gave us some free samples. SOME of us could really use it," he added, pointing at Ferris.

"What an insult! You're saying I smell bad?," asked the rat.

"This is one time I wish I DIDN'T have such a good sense of smell!," replied Kevin.

Suddenly Ferris went over to Alistair. "I smell tuna! Who had tuna for lunch?". Alistair sighed.

"None left over for YOU! Now scram, rodent!"


Renata looked at the camera and said, "Tonight, on KPET's 'Point-Counterpoint', we discuss: Should the city raise money for a new sports stadium?"

Wolfram added, "Here to talk it over are our own Alistair Katt and Sam Shepherd. Hmm, wonder what side Sam's gonna take!"

Sam Shepherd smiled and looked into the camera. "This city needs a new baseball and football stadium desperately. Our current stadium makes us the laughingstock of the sports leagues! We need to help fund a state-of-the art facility that will help us lure the best players--before you know it, we'll win the Super Bowl and the World Series! Just a slight increase in the tax rate would--"

Alistair interrupted him. "Oh, Sam, you can't be serious! MY taxes are going to go up to fund a stadium I won't even go to? To serve as a home for low-IQ athletes and their low-IQ fans? Let the teams build it on their own, without help from the taxpayers! My God, the ticket and food prices there are so high already; I'm sure they can afford to build it on their own!"

Sam laughed. "Well, suddenly Mr. Liberal is AGAINST raising our taxes! I thought I was the one who wanted to keep our taxes low! And how would you know about those high ticket and food prices? You don't like sports..."

"I tagged along with Wolfram that time he had an extra ticket for a ballgame... Anyway, that stadium seemed OK to me-- why build another one?"

"Well, the teams have been threatening moving out of town if we don't..."


After the newscast, Kevin went for a walk. He grumbled about how the other staffers treated him-- after all, Kevin did so many little things to make that newscast work, and what did he get for his trouble? No thanks from them (well, once in awhile Lorna would give him a nice Milk-Bone). No help as he put stuff away. He loaded heavy equipment, broke up fights between his co-workers, and did so much more. For what? He was just the hard-working guy behind the scenes who did so much and got so little in return.

He stopped abruptly and took out the bottle of pills Hal had given him. Make him taller, eh? Ah, THEN they'd look up to him (literally)! He's be a macho dog who would command respect. Enough of being the one who was always ignored. He'd show them!

Kevin took a couple of the pills and swigged a soda to wash them down.


Back at Lorna's house, which doubled as KPET's studios, Ferris sat in front of the TV, watching old movies being parodied on "Mystery Science Theatre 3000", and consuming lots of chips and onion dip. Lorna was in her study, doing some stuff on her computer; Sam went off to a baseball game, and Renata and Wolfram decided to walk a few blocks to a second run theater to see a movie. Kevin showed up and watched TV with Ferris for awhile, then went to his bedroom to do some reading. It was Sunday night, the one night when KPET skipped doing an 11 pm newscast.

At one point, Kevin got up to get a soda from the fridge, but he noticed something odd. The doorknob seemed lower than usual...and the fridge seemed smaller. Just then, Lorna came in to get a drink herself...and she saw Kevin. He was now taller than she! Lorna was about 5'6", but now Kevin was around 6 feet tall.

"Wait a minute...you're supposed to be shorter than me!," she told him.
"Maybe I just got a growth spurt...kinda late..."

"But you were at least a foot shorter than me, before-- you can't just sprout up like that in a few hours!"

Sam showed up, back from the ball game, and the first thing he noticed was that he now had to look UP at Kevin! Kevin looked kinda guilty and blurted out, "Maybe I was exposed to some chemicals over at O'Peridol's factory today." (Which, in a way, was true; but he didn't say that it was intentional, not accidental!) "But hey, it feels nice to be taller!" He looked down at himself and saw that his clothes now seemed extremely puny on him; in fact, they were splitting apart as a result of his new height and weight. Lorna gave him one of her robes to wear--even that was kind of small, though.

"Maybe you should see a vet in the morning," suggested Sam. "And you'll need some new clothes, too..."

Kevin went to bed, leaving everyone else still puzzled. He slept on the floor, fearing that if he should grow any more overnight, it might collapse the bed. He did awaken in the middle of the night and put the light on--now he was so big that even while sitting on the floor, his head was nearly touching the ceiling and his hindpaws stretched almost to the bedroom door! He was too big for the room!

Abruptly, he turned over, then barrelled out the side of his room that faced the outdoors-- with a smash, he left a tremendous hole in the side of the house! But he knew that was the only way to get out of the suddenly cramped room. The noise awoke the others, who saw the yellow dog running out to the street-- he was now over 12 feet tall!


Lorna and her pets/employees stared in horror at the gaping hole in what had been Kevin's room.
"Am I dreaming, or did I just see what I THOUGHT I saw?," asked Alistair. Lorna looked like she was about to faint, but Wolfram and Renata held her up and assured her it would be alright.

"Let's go after him!," exclaimed an excited Ferris, looking up at Sam. He ran out to the newsvan and Sam followed, grabbing the keys.

"Wait a minute! Are you guys crazy?," asked Lorna.

"What? We're covering the story for you. Giant dog on the loose!" He grabbed a minicam. "Ferris, you'll have to run this thing...Kevin's otherwise occupied!"

Renata shouted at them to be careful.


Kevin ran down the residential street; by now, he was up to about 15 feet tall. He dwarfed the parked cars he ran past, and was tall as many of the trees. The few people who were out (getting into their cars to go to work) fled in terror when they saw the colossal canine! Kevin ran toward a park and narrowly missed a jogger who was trying to get out of his way! He heard a screech of tires and looked down-- the van said KPET NEWS. Sam and Ferris got out; the rat tried hard to hold on to the minicam. They ran over to Kevin and Ferris pointed the camera up toward him.

"Kevin! It's us... We just want to interview you..." Kevin looked down at the sports dog, who was just under one third his height. "Uh, p-p-please don't hurt us! We just want to--"

"Guys, this isn't a good time to do that..."
"But Kevin! You're the big story today--get it? Big story! We have a scoop here!"

Suddenly, Kevin got angry. "You slimeballs! That's all you can think about? 'Oh look-- our cameradog's a giant!Let's put him on the news!'" He picked up Sam and lifted him up to face level. "Go 'head, ask away!"

"Hey, Kevin!," said Ferris. "How do you run this thing anyway? I gotta find the zoom-in..."

Kevin suddenly sounded "normal" again. "Well, see that button there, next to the handle-- no, on the other side...well, you--" Then Kevin got angry again. "NO! I WILL NOT BE PART OF YOUR FREAK SHOW! YOU NEVER GAVE ME RESPECT AND YOU STILL AREN'T!"

Sam winced; Kevin now had a loud, booming voice to go with his new size, and Sam was about a foot or two away from him! It was deafening!

Kevin put Sam down on the ground and stomped away, the ground shaking as each paw hit it. Sam called Lorna on his cell phone. "No luck. He won't talk to us on camera. Oh, and he's still growing. We, uh, got a good up-close look at him."

"Never mind the story--we need to get him help, and fast! He needs to stop growing and get back to normal size. I don't know how this happened but...maybe it's Mr. O'Peridol's fault. I'm gonna try to get ahold of him."


And she did. Hal admitted that he'd given a growth formula to Kevin, but he'd expected it to only bring him up to 6 feet tall at the most. He promised he'd get his best men to work on an antidote right away. Just then, he looked outside and saw a 25-foot-tall Kevin walk up to the building he was in. "Oh, Mr. Dog," he yelled out the window. "I guess it worked?"

Kevin just growled at him.

"Uh, we're working on a way to bring you back, I mean solve this, I mean shrink...aaaaahhhhhhhhh!" Hal fled into another room.

On KPET, Wolfram and Renata started their morning news. Alistair served as cameraman, something the viewers could tell right away, as the camera zoomed in and out, left and right, at inappropriate times.

"A giant dog is on the loose here in town, and we have a newscrew at the scene," started Wolfram. "We go now to KPET sports-- uh, NEWS-- reporter Sam Shepherd." The newsvan beamed a signal back to KPET.
"It's a mad scene here as an amazing growing dog is on the loose. Just moments ago he was right here and---"

Suddenly huge yellow hindpaws could be seen in the background. A shadow enveloped Sam as Kevin got closer! Sam looked warily up and Ferris pointed his camera up as well. Kevin was now up to about 35 feet tall, but he crouched down so the camera could get a better look.

Kevin growled angrily at the camera. "OK, YOU GOT YOUR BIG STORY! HERE I AM, DOGZILLA, ON THE LOOSE! FINALLY PEOPLE CAN LOOK UP TO ME, HUH?"

Somewhere in the city, a little kid was watching TV and was a bit puzzled. This wasn't Clifford the Big Red Dog... it was a big YELLOW dog, and THIS one wasn't so nice and mild-mannered.

KRVL, a rival station to KPET, was also covering the story. Unlike KPET, they could afford a news helicopter, and it was hovering over the mammoth mutt. "Yuck, he's right next to the KPET newsvan," said the reporter (off air). "Why do they get a free plug out of this?"

"Hey, maybe we'll get lucky and the dog will step on the van!," laughed the pilot.

The reporter laughed. "OK, I'm going on air in a couple seconds..."

Kevin heard the whirr of the helicopter blades overhead and he stood up, then glared at it. (Far below, Ferris could be heard saying, "I saw this in the Amazing Colossal Man...They came after him in a 'copter with a BIIIIIG needle!")

Kevin made a fist then drew back his arm, as if he were about to punch the 'copter. He made a menacing grimace and the pilot and reporter inside cowered in fear. Then Kevin suddenly smiled. "All interviews should be handled through my agent, gentlemen." Kevin turned to walk away (as Sam and Ferris fled away) but tripped over the KPET newsvan-- he fell to the ground with his tons of weight! The ground shook. Several cars (fortunately unoccupied) near the entrance to the park were crushed. The newsvan was among them.

"Is he OK?," asked Ferris, who was with Sam, hiding behind some trees.

"He looks OK. Then again, they say the bigger they are, the harder they fall."


Back at KPET, the newscast ended; Alistair went back to what had been Kevin's room. He spotted a bottle on the floor, which contained a couple of pills. Could this have been what made Kevin grow? Without much thought, he took those last two pills...

"One of us needs to get to Kevin to calm him down...at least till the antidote's ready," said Lorna. "Who wants to volunteer?"

"Well, I would but I don't think Kevin and I ever really got along," said Wolfram. "He won't listen to me."

Renata stared at him. "You're just scared! Mr. Brave Anchordog, eh! Lorna, I'll volunteer." She looked at Wolfram. "Once again, it's up to a woman to do a man's job."

Wolfram shook his head in disagreement. What a dumb broad, he thought. (But, he also thought: Sucker! Let her risk her life, not me!)

"No, Lorna, I'll do it," chimed in Alistair. "I think I can be big enough to get the job done."

Of the four of them, Alistair, at 3 foot 9, was actually the smallest. But that would soon change.


The KPET news van was totalled. Reason for accident: Demolished by giant dog. So Sam and Ferris walked back to KPET; as they got there, they saw Alistair walking out the door. He seemed different. For once, Sam and Alistair could see eye to eye. Not politically, but physically.

Alistair was now about 5 feet tall. It didn't take long for Sam and Ferris to figure it out.

"Hey, you were in O'Peridol's plant yesterday, too...now you're growing!"

"I'll give it to you straight, guys: I found some pills that Kevin must have taken. And I took the last couple of them so I can grow like he did.

"Oh, like in Monty Python!," Ferris burst out. "That cartoon they had where killer cars were attacking people? They developed a giant cat to attack the cars! And..."

Sam smiled. "I can see it now-- giant cat meets giant dog in a mammoth wrestling match! Let's get ready to rrrrumble!"

Kevin got up; metal and glass from the crushed cars were beneath him and car alarms sounded loudly. He brushed the bits of glass from the fur on his chest (he wasn't hurt) and walked toward the downtown area. Kevin made a growling noise--but it came from his stomach, not his mouth. He was getting very hungry and thirsty.

Several police cars came into view. They'd gotten complaints about a giant dog on the loose-- some from homeowners who'd lost electricity when Kevin walked down their street, severing overhead power lines and leaving "hot" wires sparking on the street. Others had spotted him leaving after he'd fallen on their cars.

"Freeze! Stop right there, doggie!," yelled one officer who ran out of his car and confronted Kevin. He looked puny next to Kevin's ten-foot-long hindpaws.

"I don't think you've got handcuffs big enough for me!," laughed Kevin. He was right. At 50 feet tall, Kevin was far too big for them to handle. "Look, I'm having a bit of a bad day and I'm sorry if I'm causing any problems, but I can't help it... In a little while I hope to be normal sized again so please just back off, OK? In the meantime, I need something to eat..."

He started walking away. The cops took off after him in their vehicles. "Get the camera on," said one officer. "This one should make it to 'World's Wildest Police Videos'!"


Back at KPET, Lorna called Hal to ask how the antidote was turning out.
"It should be ready in a couple of hours," he replied. "We're making it in liquid form."
"By the way, just how does this 'growth formula' affect behavior? Kevin's never been too mean or nasty but from what I'm seeing and hearing..."

"Well, it MIGHT lead to some mood swings. He could be nasty one moment and polite the next. We haven't really tested it on anyone but...him."
She hung up and turned to Renata, who was heading out to deal with Kevin (along with Sam, Alistair, and Ferris). "Lorna, Alistair took some of that growth stuff, too."

Lorna's eyes widened. "WHAT? You mean we may have TWO giants to deal with?" She ran outside where a nine-foot tall Alistair was waiting for Renata. "What in the world are you doing? We're getting an antidote soon...all we need to do is keep Kevin out of any more trouble in the meantime."

"That's where I come in," said Alistair. "I can deal with him on a giant to giant level."

"But he's much bigger than you," said Renata. "And even if you grow to 50 feet tall...by then he'll be 100 feet tall!"

They walked off; the others had a tough time keeping up with Alistair, whose longer legs gave him an advantage. "We COULD have gone in the newsvan, but Kevin demolished it," said Ferris.

"No big deal...it wasn't much of a van," replied Sam. "The other stations have these huge, modern ones...ours was kinda old and pathetic. It was like the Mystery Machine in 'Scooby Doo'." He laughed "Rat's right, raggy!"

"I'm right?," asked Ferris.

"No, I was just imitating...ah, forget it," replied Sam.


At a Boreder's Bookstore near the downtown area, an employee was sitting down with some kids to read them a story. "And then Jack saw the giant!," she read to them. "A big, MIGHTY, giant, who said, 'Fee...Fi...Fo...Fum..'"

The kids were facing a big window near the front of the store. Her back was to the window. Suddenly, the kids saw a 50 foot tall yellow dog heading straight for them! They screamed, "AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!"

The woman giggled. "Now, children, this story isn't that scary." She turned around and saw Kevin. "AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!" Like the kids, she fled away.

"I smell coffee....Mmmmm....," said Kevin, who was sniffing at the aroma drifting from the bookstore's second-floor cafe. But then he was distracted again, this time by the aroma of smoked meat. It came from a sausage factory a couple blocks away. Kevin quickly went there, as police cruisers followed him.

The company made a type of brown-and-serve breakfast sausage. Its president looked out and saw the dog approaching, together with the police cars and TV mobile units. He'd heard an employee babbling about a giant dog earlier. The TV units had caught his attention, though...Hmm, maybe he could feed the dog some sausages and get free publicity for his company (they'd see the name of his company on the news). Plus, he figured, it might keep the dog from destroying the plant!

He quickly got some employees to take some of the pre-cooked sausage and bring it to the parking lot. Then he ran out and confronted the giant pooch. "Hello! I see you could smell our wonderful product! We have some samples for you!" Employees brought out huge barrels of it. Kevin chomped on the sausage (to him, the many pounds of meat seemed more like a couple of breakfast links.) The president and the employees kept back. ("If we're not careful, he might pick up one of US by mistake!")

Alistair, Ferris, Sam, and Renata showed up at the meat plant. (Wolfram was back at the studio, readying for another newscast.) "We'll have to tape this and play it back later," said Renata. "We don't have that dish from the newsvan to do a live report." She went up to the president of the meat company, with Ferris holding the minicam, as Sam and Alistair went over to Kevin.

"Much obliged, everyone," said a cheery Kevin to the sausage factory employees.

He spotted Sam and Alistair. ("Now remember, he's moody," said Sam quietly. "He could be the nicest doggie one minute and then ferocious the next.")

By now, Kevin was up to 60 feet tall but he couldn't help but notice that Alistair was growing, too; at 15 feet or so, he came up to Kevin's knees.

"Ah, joining the giants' club, I see!," said Kevin to him. "Maybe you can raid the Cat Chow factory across town."

"OK, Kevin...just be cool, pal. Help's on the way."

"You mean they're gonna shrink me back? But I'm having so much fun being a giant."

A policeman went up to them. "You just stay right there, mutant!," he yelled up at Kevin. "And you, too!," he said to the similarly titantic cat.

"Why don't you just find a nice donut shop?," replied Alistair. "We've got the situation in hand, here." Kevin picked up a police car and held it some 40 feet in the air. He laughed at the officers below.

Just what we need...tag team giants!, thought the officer. "I'll put it down if you guys back off," said Kevin. "I need my space."

They did, and that's when Kevin took off. "YOU FOOLISH, TINY PEOPLE! I'M NOT DONE WITH YOU YET!" Alistair ran after him, but there was no way he could catch Kevin, who was four times his height.


Kevin snapped the TV tower of KRVL (so much for their coverage!), then moved on to a nearby park where he ran amongst the scattering people. "YOU CAN'T STOP ME NOW! MY TIME HAS COME AND YOU'LL PAY FOR ALL THE TIMES YOU MISTREATED ME!"

Renata, Sam, and Ferris could hear him, several blocks away. "What did those people do to him?," she asked. "Why is he yelling that?"

Sam looked at her and said, "I don't think he's yelling at them. He's yelling at us."

"Us? It must just be that growth formula--it's driven him crazy."

Alistair came back from chasing Kevin. "It's no use. Every time I grow, he grows even more."

"I was just telling Renata that we may to blame for all this," said Sam.

"What?!?"

"Well, you saw how angry he is...maybe we're not treating him right."

"I thought I was supposed to be the sensitive liberal here," replied the 20-foot tall cat.

"He's just letting it all out... But once Hal gets that antidote to him I hope thia will all end."

"I DON'T THINK IT WILL END," shouted Alistair in an abrupt mood shift. "YOU GUYS TREAT ME LIKE DIRT, TOO!" Oh no!, thought Renata. It was obvious-- the growth formula would result in mood swings for Alistair, too!


Back at KPET, Lorna told Wolfram that they ought to go downtown to deal with Kevin--and maybe Alistair, too. "We'll put the station on autopilot."
"We've got that big hole in the side of the house, where Kevin burst out... what if someone comes in to try and rob us?," asked Wolfram.

Lorna glanced around at the station's pathetic equipment. "I don't think this kind of stuff would attract a burglar." With that they walked toward downtown.


"This is so odd. Usually I do all sorts of stupid, goofy things, but lately I've been pretty well-behaved," said Ferris to Renata.

"That's because Kevin has taken over for you-- now he's the one doing those stupid things." As she said that, she noticed Alistair was next to the state capitol building. Lawmakers and the governor were fleeing in terror, chased by a 25-foot tall cat.

"WHAT DO WE WANT? JUSTICE! WHEN DO WE WANT IT? NOW!," he yelled at them. "GET BACK IN THERE, YOU COWARDS! PASS SOME BILLS TO HELP THE HOMELESS! BAN SUVs--THEY WASTE GAS AND POLLUTE!"

"We gotta calm HIM down, too!," said Ferris.

"This is terrible!," said one man on the street. "Not only are they terrorizing the city, but they're both naked!"

"Well, what can we do to clothe them?," Sam asked the man. "The only thing that would fit them would be a circus tent, and the circus isn't in town."

"Well, at least they're a dog and a cat," added a man nearby. "Most dogs and cats usually don't wear clothes anyway. No one will mind."

"With any luck, they won't be giants for much longer," said Renata. "Where IS Mr. O'Peridol with that antidote?"


By the time Hal O'Peridol showed up with the green liquid (in huge containers), Kevin's growth had leveled off at 100 feet tall, and Alistair was 90 feet tall. For now, it looked like they wouldn't grow any further, but who knew whether or not it would start up again?

In the meantime, Kevin had angrily pounced on a building and demolished it. His multi-tons of weight burst upon it, sending bricks and dust everywhere! One city official was tremendously angry...until a fellow official pointed out that the building was due to be demolished anyway. "He actually saved us some money!"

Alistair tried to get Kevin to calm down but it wasn't working. At one point, he went over to the macro doggie and tackled him as if it were a football game. The ground shook as their multi-ton bodies fell down in the middle of a park in the downtown area. Then they rolled around the ground like wrestlers and fought. With a powerful smash, a clump of trees was knocked over.

People stayed clear of them, but they stayed to watch.

"Hey, who do you think will win? My money's on the yellow dog."
"Me too."

"Naw, I'm picking the black cat. Wanna bet? I'm in for $20..."

Suddenly Kevin and Alistair heard a familiar voice yelling:
"STOP!!!"
They halted their fighting and looked over to the side of the park. It was Lorna.

"You can't be the same Kevin and Alistair I know. You're destroying the city-- and yourselves! Now stop fighting and head over to City Hall--we have the antidote for you."

"NOTHING DOING!," yelled Kevin. "I'M NOT DONE YET!" Suddenly, Kevin got up and picked up Sam, then ran toward a tall building. Sam screamed for help. "Alistair! Stop him...Someone, stop him!" Kevin to climb up the building, cradling Sam in one paw as he did so.

"Go up after him, Alistair!," said Renata. "We're too small to do anything."

Alistair stood up and gazed down at his co-workers, gathered down on the ground near his 15-foot-long hindpaws. "I gotta do your dirty work, eh? CAN'T DO IT YOURSELVES? WHY ARE YOU THROWING EVERYTHING AT ME, TREATING ME LIKE DIRT AND THEN DEPENDING ON ME TO SAVE YOUR BUTTS? WHO AM I, KEVIN?"

Alistair suddenly paused. He sounded more calm. "That's it. That's why Kevin is mad!" Without hesitation, Alistair climbed up the building, pursuing Kevin.

There was tension in the air as the macro cat went up after Kevin. Sam could still be heard pleading for help. Alistair yelled,"Kevin, come back here! We can solve this problem if you just..."

"No way, Katt!!"

Then Kevin's extraordinary sense of hearing picked up Lorna's voice. "Kevin, we're sorry! I never told you this before but you're important to us! We need you and appreciate all you've done!"

Kevin suddenly stopped. "Need?"

"And we love you, Kevin."

Kevin's eyes started to mist up. "She loves me...and needs..." With that, Kevin started to climb down again (carefully cradling Sam in his paw) and Alistair also started down.

A state police helicopter flew overhead, ready for action, but the police lieutenant inside said, "Hold off for a second. I think this thing might be ending soon..."

Renata, Wolfram, Ferris, and Lorna were in the park across from the building Kev had been scaling. Kevin gently set Sam on the ground and he and Alistair lay on their bellies, facing everyone. Lorna stood in front of Kevin and Alistair's gigantic faces. They listened attentively.

"Kevin, you are probably the hardest worker at KPET. You go far beyond what's expected of you, and it's time all of us recognized that. We wouldn't be able to make it without you. It's the hard working folks behind the scenes-- like you-- who make it happen. You know, there are firemen, policemen, waiters and waitresses, and all sorts of other dedicated people--and pets-- who quietly go about their work, who never get the recognition they deserve. Well, maybe it's time to change that."

"Well, I'm just doing my job I guess... I don't make a big deal about it."

"But you should be proud of what you do...and WE'RE proud of you. It's just that we never get around to saying how much we need you and, yes, love you." The others applauded and cheered for Kevin. His eyes watered, he sniffled, and he smiled. "And thank YOU, everybody," said a grateful Kevin. For once he felt appreciated.

"I'll help you with the equipment, Kev," said Sam.

"Kevin, you do a great job in the studio with us," added Renata, as Wolfram nodded.

"I like hangin' around with ya, pal!," said Ferris. Then Alistair turned to Kevin and tapped him gently on the head.

"Kevin, you didn't need to become a giant," said Alistair. "Around KPET, you already were. A giant in our hearts! Oh, sorry I fought with you just then, but I had to calm you down..."

Now Lorna faced Alistair. "We didn't forget you, either. You do so much for us as well and we also love you." They all cheered and applauded the titanic cat.

"You're pretty cool for a liberal!," laughed Sam.

"C'mon, let's go to City Hall-- they have the antidote there," said Lorna. It was amazing...suddenly Kevin and Alistair weren't enraged or on a rampage. Her talk had calmed them down.

Lorna, Sam, and Ferris were carried by Kevin and Alistair carried Renata and Wolfram as they headed over to the plaza in front of City Hall. Kevin spotted Hal, who suddenly started getting very nervous.

"Er, hi, Kevin...I-I-I hope you had fun being a giant. I'm sorry if this formula didn't quite work like I thought it would."

Kevin extended a paw toward him and Hal dashed away! "No, no, Mr. O'Peridol... I won't hurt you." Kev gently put a thumb and forefinger around one of Hal's paws and shook it. "I just hope this works so I can get back to normal."

"Hey, got any more of that growing formula? I'd like to be 200 feet tall!," laughed Alistair.

"I'm gonna hope you're kidding, Al," said Kevin with a smile.

Wolfram got in front of Kevin and Alistair as they drank down the green liquid. "This is KPET's Wolfram Blitzen at City Hall, where a giant dog and cat are about to shrink back to normal size after a whirlwind day."

Renata spoke next, summarizing the bizarre occurances that had occured earlier. "But all should be well now. This--" (the camera panned up to the giants) "--is our own Alistair Katt, who does our weather...sometimes. And next to him is our dedicated cameradog, Kevin J. Dog..."

Kevin and Alistair apologized for any property damage, and for scaring people. Hal (through his spokesperson, Perry Oxide) said that Sunflower Chemicals would pay any damages, ranging from the KPET studios to downed electrical wires (and so on). "We, uh, may have had a part to play in all this, but we'll make it right."


The antidote worked and within hours, Kevin was back to 4 feet 4 and Alistair was back to 3 foot 9. The 11 pm KPET news went on as scheduled and things seemed back to normal at the country's only all-pet-run TV station.

Meanwhile, a local talk radio station offered opinions on what had gone on.

One caller: "We've gotta crack down on the cats and dogs in town-- look what devastation they caused!"

The host: "Yes, but that was only when they grew to giant size..."

Another caller said he had seen the live TV coverage but "it's all fake! All Hollywood special effects-- that cat and dog weren't gigantic! They just used props and special effects to make it look real."

"And why would they do that?," asked the host.

"To boost their TV ratings, that's why! It's a conspiracy, don't you see?"

The host sighed. "Boy, it must be a full moon, eh? Well, thank you for the call...er..."

"The name's Alistair."

As Kevin went to sleep that night, he smiled, knowing things were getting back to normal--better than normal, in fact, as he knew his co-workers finally did appreciate him.

And it was kinda fun being a giant!

END!

For more Newshounds fun go to newshounds.com

Story 2002 Bob "Anthrocoon" Nelson

Characters 1992-2002 Thomas K. Dye